An Ordinary Day like any other! Right...[ OPEN! ]

[yumesuishou]

"Trash! Who the fuck do you think you are, barging into here like this? Tell your family I'll fucking kill them!"

'Che, so much for that plan,' Hakuren thought bitterly to herself.

Slowly getting up from her knees, Hakuren repositioned her thick glasses, staying strangely quiet for a few minutes. Within the time that she was quietly thinking, a strange dark and almost sinister aura started to fill the room. Heck, you could practically see the aura filled with a killer intent seeping out of her. Then, suddenly, the aura came to a halt and steadily retreated itself back into the source. After that, Hakuren looked up and spoke.

"Look, Xanxus,, I have but a simple request. All I want to do is interview the Varia members, including yourself. I just need information you your weapons and killing techniques. You don't have to worry about all the information I get being used against you, for this info. is simply for my own personal data and research. This process will take, at most, a week. After that I will simply leave quietly back to Japan. That's all I request."

It didn't even sound like a request anymore. As Hakuren spoke each word, there was something strange about the tone of her voice. It was somehow different. Each word was dripping deadly with poison and yet, it was polite and well-mannered.

When she finished speaking, there was a strange cold smile on her face and she once again repositioned her glasses. Following that, there was a quick glare on her glasses from the room's reflected light. For a moment, just a few seconds to be exact, a person might have barely been able to catch a glimpse of her eyes. If they did manage catch a glimpse, they would have been able to how cold and sharp they were. Very much like the eyes of a killer- no, a demon. This person here before Xanxus was definitely not Hakuren. It was a completely different being.

[OOC: Geh, somehow, I don't know how, but this felt kind of Mary-Sue to type.]

[C.C.]

As Lussuria attempted to drag him backwards, Bel lost his balance and almost fell. Of course, if he did, it would be the end of our dear beloved Varia genius, but Bel was a prince, and certainly not going to fall anytime soon. "Get lost, Lussuria!"

[/color] he snapped, attempting to shake the other off. Surprisingly, this attempt was successful, and Lussuria scuttled away and out of sight...temporarily.

But Bel couldn't care less about the other Varia member, because these blue things move fast for their small size. He aimed a kick at another one of them, sending them flying, before a tall, or relatively tall one came into the open, considering the rest of them were tiny. It began randomly talking in Smurfish and waving it's arms around. "What's he saying, Lussuria?"[/color] Bel drawled, glancing backwards at the coward before turning back to the...thing...

"Shishishi, you know what? I don't care."[/color]

And, grinning, he flicked his leg at the smurf.[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[OOC: I finish typing this, and I realize it's only 2 paragraphs. OTL I'M SORRY I FAILED!]

[Pedo-Pie]

[MAX. I'M SRUFIN' THE SMURFS. WHUT. And LOL sorry, Ren. It was a tad Sue-ish. ]


Lussuria sniffed and scooted backwards on the shelf. It was dusty in here. He'd have to send someone(s) in to clean it up later. But more importantly, Bel was kicking the chief. That wasn't good. At all.


From what he could make out of the garbled Smurfish, the chief was saying something about intruders on ceremonies...what ceremonies? And why did the Smurf chief keep saying "princess"?

Suddenly, it clicked. The Smurfs were gathered in one place because o a ceremony involving their princess. What kind of ceremony, though? And where exactly was the princess?

Lussuria watched, fascinated, as about twelve burly Smrufs strode forward, all armed, pointing their weapons at Bel. Looks like a show was about to begin.

[emayex]

Turning the corner, Squalo found himself face to face with the Pantry's door.

Usually, the shark never even went within five metres of the damn place. However, this time was definitely different - Xanxus was demanding something that the Varia did not keep readily stocked in their extra large fridge, an unusual occurrence. This was because they usually kept all sorts of meat stocked up - they must have run out of venison.

Just Squalo's damn luck.

And with an intruder on the loose, the swordsman's mind was drifting. Not quite running - yet going faster than a walk, Squalo drew nearer to the dreaded Pantry, hoping against all odds that he wouldn't have to go into the 'uncharted territory'...also known as 'further into the Pantry'.

Faintly, the second in command could hear vague screams from within. Tentatively, he stepped forwards, brushing through the doorway. From this view he could see a few musty looking shelves.

...Which one to go down through? "VOOOOOOOOOOOIIII!"

[/b] Squalo yelled into the darkness. "WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE?"[/b][/blockquote]

[OOC: Ugh..really fail post. No muse D:]

[C.C.]

[OOC: HII, PIEZEN-SAMA! Does Bel kick the smurf? xD]

Unfortunately, he missed. A random (and probably smart...er) smurf pulled their 'chief' out of the way. Bel's grin disappeared, and he frowned intently, as if it had just stolen a valuable toy and was about to get punished. In fact, the look was so childish that people would laugh. Or at least, they would laugh, but only if they didn't know who Prince the Ripper was.

Twelve ugly little creatures walked out of the crowd, and began waving their toy spears around. By this time, Bel was starting to get bored of the tiny things. "How long is this going to go for, Lussuria?"

[/color] he drawled. "The prince wants sushi."[/color] But then his grin was back and, having obviously decided something, Bel seated himself on the ground in a cross-legged pose, and began flicking the smurfs hard in the eye, all the while giggling madly.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOIIII! WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE?"

Despite being thousand of miles a long way away from their position, Squalo's voice could still be heard very very clearly. As Bel flicked another smurf in the eye (it stumbled back, crying out something in Smurfish), he grinned and ignored Squalo's plea for help. If this was going to continue on for much longer, not one smurf would remain alive.[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[OOC: CUE PRINCESS SMURF! *is shot* xD]

[Pedo-Pie]

[DAMN STRAIGHT, CC.]


Chin cupped in his palm, Lussuria lay curled up on the shelf like a Cheshire cat, fascinated with the way things were unfolding. Not Bel'd actions, no. He was just being destructive, and, well, that was perfectly normal for him.

What caught Lussuria's fancy was, as always, the chatter going on between the girls at this point.


The girl Smurfs, that is.

They were sitting a way off, unnoticed to Bel. Lussuria could hear snatches of their conversation from where he was perched, and could make out one particular Smurfette sitting in the middle. She seemed different, somewhat taller and more regal than the idle serving-girls surrounding her. He recognized her.


It was the Princess.


In one fluid movement, she drew herself up to full height (6 centimeters) and strode purposefully toward the crowd. Lussuria watched, grin widening.

The Smurf Princess reached the front of the crowd, planted her feet firmly on the ground in front of Bel and threw her head back, sizing him up. A moment of silence, and she began to speak.

Lussuria, even with his slightly garbled Smurfish, understood the message just fine.


" 'Thou, tall yellow one, art both very foolish, and very brave to set foot in the royal courtyard of our noble Smurf tribe,' " he translated blandly from his shelf. " 'Unbeknownst to thee, thou hast interrupted my choosing a groom from the many suitors you see here. I was to choose one mighty Smurf prince to be the future chief of this tribe, but you have so far bested them all with ease. As per the customs of my clan, it is my duty to wed the mightiest of all, and therefore I choose you to be my husband!' "

[hibird]

[OOC: Bel is getting married?! lmao xD]

Coltel was starting to get annoyed at the rows of blue things standing in front of her. They were just standing there and doing nothing...would moving aside and stop blocking the pathway kill them? What were they called again...oh yea, smurfs. At least she know that they aren't dolls anymore, judging by the fact that they can move and chatter in some unknown language. She was about to follow Bel's lead and push the sea of smurfs away, when one of the taller smurfs suddenly walked up to Bel and started checking him out.

She almost cracked up at the sight of the tiny thing looking him over, but held her laughter. But after Lussuria translated the thing's speech, she couldn't contain herself anymore and doubled up with laughter, leaning onto a cabinet for support. "She...wants to...marry...Bel?" She laughed. "We better get...you a suit and....a ring, unless those....smurfs have some tra-traditional outfit they wear...for weddings?" The thought of Bel wearing a similar outfit to what the spear-wielding smurfs were wearing caused her to crack up again.

From somewhere, she heard the all-too-familiar voice of Squalo calling out loudly. For once, she wasn't annoyed to hear him...in fact, she was a bit glad. "Over here!" She managed to call, "Quickly, Squalo! You don't...You don't want to miss Bel's propose to the smurf princess! Wait it was the other way 'round..." She sat down on the floor, aching from too much laughing. It wasn't like her to laugh that much..then again, it wasn't everyday that little Bel gets a marriage proposal.

[emayex]

[OOC: Long time no see, people...Hopefully Squalo is coming out of hibernation.]

"Quickly, Squalo! You don't...You don't want to miss Bel's proposal to the smurf princess!"

[/b]

Squalo nearly choked on his own spit as Coltel's voice drifted from further within the Pantry to his current location. Smurf princess? Proposal? Bel?

And what the hell had this to do with the deer meat?

Squalo was tempted to run in there screaming all the manner of loud, rude obscenities, but he refrained after hearing the word 'smurf'. However, he continued on his way down the corridor, following Coltel's voice which seemed to be rather...was strained the word?

The swordsman blinked at the scene before him. A mass of surging..blue..things was swarming all over the floor next to Bel, who was sitting. A slightly taller smurf, one who had a rather regal bearing, was chattering away in some strange garbled language. Bel, in Squalo's opinion, was looking rather..confused.

...Coltel on the other hand, was in hysterics on the floor, an abrupt change from the usual taciturn woman. The shark blinked, momentarily taken aback. And then:

"What the fuck is going on here."[/b]

It was a statement, not a question. And Squalo wanted a report, pronto.[/blockquote]

[C.C.]

[OOC: LOL okay, I'd just assume this is what Bel would do...don't kill me?]

But then, something was happening.

The crowd was stirring, a somewhat important looking (and very ugly, might Bel mention) smurf cut through to the front, and seemed to be...analyzing him. He was just about to open his mouth and say that no prince should ever have to see such an ugly creature, before Lussuria just had to interrupt in and deliver what, in Bel's case, seemed like the stupidest speech of all.

"...and therefore I choose you to be my husband!'"

There was a moment of shocked silence.

And then Prince Belphegor burst out laughing.

"Ushishishi! Shishishi...shishishishi! Ushishishi..."

[/color] Gasping for breath, Bel rose to his feet, no longer caring about the little tiny insignificant commoner smurfs around him. He tilted his head to the side childishly, hidden eyes trained on the Smurf Princess. "Lussu~ria~,"[/color] he grinned, hands discreetly sliding towards his pockets, where glinting silver knives were concealed, "Your translation skills are terrible. Shishishi, that can't possibly be what this...thing...is trying to say."[/color]

Of course, the fact that it was in Lussuria's voice made it all the funnier.

A moment after he said this, the prince noticed that Coltel had completely...what was the term? Ah, 'cracked up' and was almost literally rolling on the ground laughing. "Oi! Shut it!"[/color] he snapped at the usually calm woman, good mood gone in an instant. "Get lost, Squalo. I can settle things...by myself."[/color]

And with that said, Bel completely forgot about the Smurfs (and their Princess) and took out a the hidden array of sharp knives, advancing menacingly towards Lussuria.

The poor poor Sun Guardian.[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Pedo-Pie]

[HAHAHA THIS WHOLE THREAD IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO MUCH I'M GONNA RIP ANOTHER HOLE IN MY ASS AND THEN SUE YOU GUYS FOR IT. Should I be sorry for doing this to Bel? No, I'm not *knife'd*]


Lussuria stuffed a fist into his mouth the moment he'd finished translating, if only to stop himself from exploding. Oh god. Oh god. Oh GOD. This couldn't be happening. It was too good to be happening. But, Lussuria pinched himself, it was indeed happening.


Biting down hard on his knuckles, he could see Coltel having a seizure some way off. She looked like she was about to rupture an artery, and frankly, Lussuria felt the same. The look on Squalo's face wasn't helping either, and as for Princess Smurfette...oh GOD.


Hearing Bel's response, Lussuria just lost it. {Was it just him or did Bel sound shocked and horrified?) But seeing Bel advancing to him with a rather strained smile, Lussuria finally exploded.


"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- HAHAHA- coughcough- HAA!!! NO, BEL-BEL- HIC- NO! DON'T- HAHAHAHA! PLEASE! NOT IN FRONT OF THE IN-LAWS!" he choked, rolling off the cabinet and nearly flattening an unfortunate Smurf. "HAHAHA- WHAT'S WRONG, BEL? AREN'T YOU A PRINCE? SHOULDN'T PRINCES MARRY PRINCESSESS- HAHAHAHA- I THINK SHE'S QUITE LOVELY NOWAITDON'THURTME-"


Self-preservation reflexes kicking in, Lussuria scrambled off the floor to get away from Bel, instead running to hide behind Coltel, although that probably wouldn't be much safer. "HE ACCEPTS YOUR OFFER!" he yelled to the Smurfette in broken Smurfish, leaping sprightly over a shelf to safety. "HAVE A HAPPY MARRAIGE, BEL-CHAN! INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING!" And with that he was gone.


(Well, not really, he was just hiding in a pastry shelf, but Bel didn't need to know that.)


Meanwhile, the Princess of the Smurfs just smiled.


[WTF AM I WRITING. OTL.


Oh, well, since Luss is being a coward...is it considered godmodding if I RP Princess Smurf for a while? *is slightly confused XD*]

[emayex]

[OOC: Vooooooi...what is a Xanxus to do?! Sorry for leaving you stranded for so long, Ren...but I couldn't AND STILL CAN'T think of something to say!]

Xanxus looked up through his bangs towards Hakuren, raising a single eyebrow one out of four!. "A simple request?"

[/b] he queried softly. "It seems to me that this...personal data and research could be easily compromised."[/b]

The boss cracked his knuckles slowly, idly thinking aloud. "Tell me, Kuromori Hakuren, what are the real reasons behind this information gathering?"[/b]

Xanxus leaned back in his chair even further until he was positively slouching, folding his hands across his chest and yawning, letting his eyes slide shut.

A few minutes later, he cracked an eye open, appraising Hakuren blandly. "Trash, why are you still here?"[/b]

Xanxus could feel the coldness rolling off Hakuren in waves. Inwardly, he was quite pleased with himself - this information broker had revealed her true nature to him, almost without prompting.

Now how could he use this to his advantage?

The sharp coldness did not disappear however, and Xanxus opened the other eye to stop himself from looking like TYL Lambo, obviously, slightly more alert now. "I'm waiting for an answer, you know,"[/b] he murmured dryly, tilting his head to the side.[/blockquote]

[yumesuishou]

"Tell me, Kuromori Hakuren, what are the real reasons behind this information gathering?"

Hakuren grinned a mischievous grin.

"Kusu~ Wao~ Nothing an ever get past you unnoticed, now can it, Xanxus? Alright, I'll tell you. She started.

"The first reason I'm here is to do my job as an information broker. It is my duty to have every little piece of information there is of everyone and anyone related to the mafia. To my surprise, I have recently discovered that I was lacking a bit of information on the Varia." Tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear, she pushed her glasses up in a very nerdy professional manner.

"That needs to change. As an informant, lacking information would give me a bad reputation. The second reason is because," She paused before frowning a bit.

"I was sent here by the Timoteo-sama's orders."

[OOC: Will come back and edit this later...]

[emayex]

Once upon a time, a younger Squalo had stumbled across the boss's room. Promptly, he had fled, fearing for his life and sanity. And there was a reason for this madness.

You see, Squalo had accidentally found the root of the problem here at hand - namely, he had found the smurf base.

And now, many years later, the shark was once again confronted with the fear of the boss's bed: the smurfs.

"Get lost, Squalo. I can settle things...by myself."

[/b]

However, instead of going for the smurfs, Bel pulled out an array of knives and advanced towards Lussuria. Squalo stabbed his sword in the direction of the prince, instantly annoyed.

"VOOOOI, Bel!"[/b] he snarled at him. "Take care of the goddamn smurfs first!"[/b] Seeing Lussuria fleeing for his life (into a cupboard, for the love of boss) Squalo snorted in contempt, kicking a stray smurf out of the way.

The princess smurf smiled slowly, and Squalo flinched in response. A smile on a smurf's face was not the way to go, and if he was correct in his assumptions, then the prince was in some serious danger.

Danger of being made the husband of the princess smurf of the smurf tribe, of course.

"Bel,"[/b] Squalo said seriously, raising his sword. "Get the fuck out of here, before that smurf claims you."[/b][/blockquote]

[C.C.]

[OOC: Go ahead, Piezen-sama, RPing the smurf is fine xD]

Lussuria's reaction was something he hadn't anticipated. Instead of running for his life, the Sun guardian actually burst out laughing...before running for his life.

Anger marks appeared on his head and, completely disregarding what Lussuria had said about 'princes marrying princesses' (because Mammon was royal enough anyway), Bel kept advancing. Just when he was about to throw the knives at Lussuria's stupid useless head, the other fled, screaming something over his shoulder which sounded suspiciously like the language the Smurfs were talking in.

"HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE, BEL-CHAN! INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING!"

He ignored Squalo's scream of an attempt to give him advice. "In your twisted dreams,"

[/color] Bel snapped back, too horrified and annoyed to even comprehend that Lussuria had called him '-chan'. His voice was calm (because could you imagine Fujiwara Yuuki Bel's voice sounding flustered?) but inside he was a lot less in control. The stupid smurfs...stupid Lussuria...he would kill them all.

"Bel. Get the fuck out of here, before that smurf claims you."

With his decision in mind, Bel's grin resurfaced (it had been lost for a moment) and he turned to face the smurfs with a sinister glint. "Shishishi, are you scared of these midgets, Squalo?"[/color] With his knives still out, the prince casually flicked five towards the princess smurf. Maybe she would look prettier covered with blood.[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Pedo-Pie]

The Princess of Smurfs didn't move an inch, even with five sharp knives (bigger then she was) came flying towards her. She didn't even blink. It wasn't like she needed to. She had guards for a reason.

Three of the jumped in front of her, bottlecap-shields raised, and the knives bounced harmlessly off them. "Do not resist me. I will have you, my prince,"[/size] she cooed, batting her eyelashes sweetly at Bel. Because, now that she saw what he could do, she wanted him.

And Princesses always get what they want. Shishishi


[DUN DUN DUN. And don't ask why I gave her a fancy font. I just felt like it. Shuttup.

I AM NOT A PEDO.]